The Journalist
by HumanKnotGirl
Summary: Against his better judgement, Hisao tries to comfort Hanako with disastrous results. Can he salvage a crumbling friendship? An alternate version of the bad-end.
1. Misstep

**Foreword: If you have not played through Hanako's bad ending on Katawa Shoujo, I suggest you do so. This story takes that bad ending and reworks it so that a good ending is achieved. While I love the directions that Four Leaf Studios took in developing the game, I feel that this ending could have been drastically different than it was. As is the custom for this type of story, Hisao is narrating in first person.**

MISSTEP

I rap my knuckles thrice on Hanako's door. As expected, there's no answer. I briefly consider knocking again, but I know full well that I'd get the same result if I did. Resting my hand on Hanako's door handle, I try and prepare what I want to say to her I want to comfort her, but I'm not sure how I can. Regardless, I know that I can't leave things as they are now, for her sake, and for my own. I turn the handle downwards, with a fair amount of hesitation. It doesn't move far though, due to the door being locked.

"Hanako...I don't know if you can hear me, but...I just want to talk to you for a bit. If you can hear me, could you please unlock the door?"

I wait in silence. Minutes pass, but eventually I hear footsteps coming to the door and the lock being worked. At least she's willing to hear me out. That's one good thing. I take a breath before pushing the handle down and opening the door. If she unlocked it without raising any protest, it should be fine for me to go in.

Hanako is sitting on the side of her bed, her face sullen as though deep in thought. Her room is as stark as ever, and right now, she seems to perfectly suit the mood it gives off. Eventually, her eyes slowly move to the door. As soon as she notices my presence, she darts off her bed and jumps to her feet, facing me straight on. She says nothing.

I look her over. She looks depressed, but there's also a tinge of anger to it. So, she can make this kind of expression as well. "I...I just wanted to check that you were alright. I thought it would be okay, since you unlocked the door."

Hanako opens her mouth to speak, but quickly closes it again before looking away. We stand in silence for a while before she steps back and sits down on the side of the bed. I'm not sure whether she's frustrated with me and resigned to the fact that I'm here, or if she's genuinely okay with me being in her room. Once again, I find myself completely unable to work out how she feels. It's annoying.

I end up walking to her desk chair and taking a seat. Taking a closer look at the girl before me, I see that her face is pale but her cheeks red. On top of that, she doesn't look like she's been eating well, either. Lilly might have said it would be better if I kept more of a distance, but it's hard to think of that as the correct way to deal with Hanako when she looks like this.

"Want to go out somewhere? Going down the hill to town might be a bit much, but we could at least go for a walk outside."

Slowly her eyes meet mine. "Why...do you want to do that?"

"I was just thinking that it might help a bit. You spend so much time inside, you're skin's going to get as pale as Lilly's before long." I snort in amusement, expecting Hanako to do the same, but she gives no reaction' she just goes back to looking at the ground. I pause, and she speaks again.

"If you don't want to go...I-I don't want to go either."

I bite my lip before continuing, a little unsure. "It's fine. I played soccer and hung out with friends after school a lot before coming to Yamaku, so I like being outdoors. We could go to the library...uh, if it wasn't closed by about now. The gardens would be fine, though."

She begins to play with her hair. It's distracting, and strikes me as a little unusual for her. "You...don't understand..." Even now, I can only barely understand what she says. It feels like she's trying to make her presence as small as possible; that's incredibly natural for her to do in class or around others, but it hurts when she tries it around me.

I struggle to keep my composure. "I told you, it's fine. It's just a little walk." Standing, I go toward the door, motioning for her. At this point, she stops twirling her hair, her hands falling to the bed as if to lever her up, but she stays rooted there.

"I don't..." Now she's the one biting her lip.

"Going outside for a bit is good for clearing your head."

"Why do you...want to do this..."

"Because I want to help you."

"I don't...want...help. Did you just come here...to try and get me out...?"

"I think everyone needs it sometimes. When I was trying to get through my first days at Yamaku, you and Lilly helped me a lot." What is with her all of a sudden? Of course I'm trying to help her; isn't that what friends are supposed to do?

"I don't w-want to go. I'm...fine."

"I don't really think it's healthy to stay indoors that long. The sun's still got some life in it, so it's not too late."

"Then...go."

"By myself?" At this, she nods.

"Well, I'm not really against that, but...are you sure? I swung by to invite you to come with me."

"I'm fine. You can go." Her expression is wooden, as if it was so carefully arranged that a single movement might cause it to collapse.

"Well, if you want to stay here...maybe we could play a game?"

"Just leave. Please. I don't...want to do anything right now."

"Surely there's something you want to do. It must be boring, sitting here in your room alone."

"I want you to go."

Hearing this sends me reeling for a moment. After everything that's happened, she wants to close off everyone around her, including me. I take a breath, and try once more. "Come on, you don't have to be like that. I just want to spend some time with you. Lilly and I are both worried, so..."

Her expression changes to one of shock. "You...talked to her?"

"Yeah...we were on the phone...not too long ago. Both of us are worried about you, Hanako. Surely you can see that."

Hanako mumbles to herself again. It's increasingly disturbing. "I'm telling you...to go away. You don't understand anything..."

"If we just talked it out, you could tell me why. I want to protect you, and I don't see-"

"Get...out, p-please..." Her hands start to ball into fists around the fabric of her blanket.

"Just locking yourself up in your room again isn't going to help anything. Please...Hanako, just let me help-"

And with that, she storms off the bed, turning to me with an expression I have never seen before: pure, unadulterated fury. "Get out of my room, get out of my room, get out of my room!" She yells with such a force that, for the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely frightened. I'm not sure how to react to this, and from Hanako of all people.

"Leave! I'm telling you to get out!"

"But...why?" At this point, I'm the one unable to speak.

"I know I need help! I know I'm broken! I don't need you to tell me that! It's written all over your face, all over Lilly's face, all over everybody's faces! I see a therapist every week, Lilly dotes on me as if I were her child, and now you too! Nothing's changed, nothing at all! I hate Lilly, I hate this school...and most of all, I hate you more than anyone!"

Her face moves in strange, almost grotesque ways. I've never seen someone completely lose it before, but it looks like the usually quiet and withdrawn girl in front of me is going into just such a destructive cycle before my eyes.

"Go! Leave me alone! Get out of here!" Her words cause me to take a step back, then another, and another still. It's a full minute before it even begins to dawn on me what she's saying. And in a way, it starts to make sense.

She has taken every action that I, and Lilly for that matter, have done on her behalf as a gesture of pity, not of friendship. Letting her past define her, she has completely mischaracterized everyone around her, and worst of all, she has mischaracterized her own potential.

She's an idiot.

It's kind of funny, and if not for the situation I'd probably break into a grin from it all. Still, I know that would only serve to amplify an already critical situation. I can't fix things as they are now. Only one thing to do.

"Very well." Biting my lip, I step out the door and into the hall. Hanako looks down, all of her energy spent. Now that I've stepped out of her room, the worst of her fury is gone. She drops her eyes toward the ground beneath her feet.

"Before I go, there is one thing I want to say to you." She looks up at me, eyes wide. I continue. "Not once, since the day I first met you, have I thought you were broken. And to be honest, I doubt Lilly has either. At this point, the only one who seems to be stuck in that mentality is yourself, Hanako.

"You and I are equals. Always will be. Same goes for you and Lilly, as is the same for Lilly and myself. That's what it means to be friends. Friends push friends to be their best. You've done that for us. Let us do that for you. And when you finally stop running from who you are, feel free to give me a call."

Slowly, I shut the door. The creak of the old hinges sounds almost deafening in the seconds following. With a final thud, it closes completely. I feel almost numb. With nothing left to do and my own energy drained, I make the walk back to the boys' dormitory.

The rest is up to her now...


	2. Source

SOURCE

I stare lazily at the sun as afternoon classes begin. It's been two days since my fight with Hanako. In two more days, Lilly will be returning from Scotland. At this rate, will things ever be what they once were?

Everything seems distant now, a bit more hollow. Even Misha, who's normally running rampant this time of day, seems much more subdued. Or maybe she's picked up on my own damned mood.

I guess she's more observant than I give her credit for.

Matou's lecture, which I normally have at least some interest in hearing, doesn't lift my spirits in the slightest today. I'm too hung up on the issue at hand. Did I really do the right thing? Is that really what Hanako needed to finally believe in herself? Or did I just make it all worse in the end? I can't stand the thought of losing her over something like this. We'd come so far; without her, I'd...

And then I see her. While one eye is obscured by long purple hair, the other is narrowed as if focused on something important. She bites her lip as she steps into the classroom, knowing that all eyes are on her. There's a slip of paper in her hand, which she passes onto my desk as she walks by. Not once do her eyes look at me, and not one word is uttered. Slowly, she sits at her desk, pulling out her textbook. Sighing, Matou resumes his lecture as I hold the crisp sheet of paper in my hand.

Minutes later, the bell signaling the end of class sounds off. As students begin to take their leave, I find the message is still in my hand. I haven't moved an inch since that moment. As I finally come to, I unfold the little slip of paper and begin to rest my eyes upon its contents.

'You and I need to talk. Please meet me in the Library. - Hanako.' The message is concise, and written neatly upon the paper. It's surprisingly confident, and I can't help but wonder if she drafted it beforehand. I look behind me, and she's already gone, disappeared into the throng of students leaving for the day. With that, I grab my bag, heading for my destination.

The sun shines softly on this side of the school, providing a natural beauty which I've come to enjoy from the library. Yuuko is busying herself with paperwork; I decide it's best not to disturb her. What's more interesting is Hanako, sitting at a desk in the center of the room, as opposed to her normal location in the back. And instead of a book between her hands, there rests a stack of articles to her left, as well as writing materials to her right. She stares at me, motionless as I sit across from her.

For a moment, we say nothing. Finally, she speaks.

"Hisao...I'm surprised you showed up..."

"Well, you're my friend; and friends keep their word."

Her eyes widen for a moment, and then she smiles. "I've been working...on a project, and I was wondering if you could help me with it."

"I'm not sure how much help I'll be, but I'll do my best. I assume it has to do with the objects in front of us?"

She nods. "I've been writing a draft article...for the Newspaper Club. It's nothing major, but it's something I've been...passionate about for the longest time."

"I see..." Slowly, I reach my hand toward the papers in the center. "May I?" Another nod, and I pick it up, scanning the lines.

'Studies into light pollution have unearthed significant consequences to both humans and animals. Excessive light disrupts the circadian rhythm of animal species, throwing off sleep schedules and leading to cases of increased stress and anxiety. Surveys done by students of Kyoto University revealed that in urban areas, the amount of nocturnal residents has grown exponentially, as more and more light has been available for nighttime tasks...'

It takes a few minutes, but I finish the document, leaning back in my seat. "This is really impressive, especially for a high school student." She blushes at this. "I don't think I could ever write as fluidly as you are able to."

"T-thank you. It's really not all that amazing..."

"You're really too modest about it, Hanako. This is something I'd expect to see from someone well beyond our level. I never knew you had such a skill for this."

I can tell she's somewhat embarrassed by this shower of praise, but her smile continues to widen. It's a sight to behold. "Well...it's something that I've...always been passionate about, I guess. Still, I'm missing a few key elements, and I was...was wondering if you could help."

"Alright, what with though? I'm not too good at writing, honestly."

"Well, you see...while the psychological and sociopolitical aspects are all there, the science behind it is what I'm having trouble with." She falters. "You seem to do a lot better than me at that. I thought...you'd be the best person to help me. I mean, if you're alright with doing so..."

Now it's my turn to smile. "It would be an honor."

We sit down and I begin to explain the chemistry and physics aspects to her. Together, we go over some basic calculations based on the data she found online, and devise tables and graphs to better visualize the end result. Before we know it, the sun has made its way down to the window, painting a very dull orange on the walls.

We leave before Yuuko can usher us out, making our way down the stairs to the main hall. Hanako holds her writing materials in her arms, and I keep my backpack slung over my shoulder.

Neither of us can think of anything to say...

We make it to the steps of the dorms, and face each other. She stares into my eyes, and I hers. Finally, she opens up. "Hisao...about the other night-"

I hold my hand up to silence her. "I don't hold grudges. And I don't let things like that ruin a friendship. What matters is that we're closer now because of it." She puts her hand to her mouth, biting her index finger as she ponders this. I simply smile. "Goodnight, Hanako." With that, I make my way toward my room.

It's been a long day. The stress of it all has finally come to pass, and my mind is more spent than my body generally is. However, as soon as I'm about to wander off to sleep, my phone goes off.

"Hello, Lilly."

"Salutations to you, Hisao. If I am not mistaken, it should be evening there, correct?"

"That's right."

"Then I shall be brief. I wanted to let you know that things resolved themselves a day ahead of schedule, and that I shall be returning to Japan in sixteen hours."

I sit upright on my bed. "That's awfully quick. Are you at the airport now or something?"

I hear a giggle on the other end of the line. "You're very observant, Hisao. I guess I should give you credit for that." She coughs slightly, and her tone becomes more solemn. "How is Hanako? I haven't heard from either of you in a few days, and I wanted to make sure everything was alright."

I bite my lip. It looks like Hanako hasn't said anything. If she really wanted Lilly to know, I'm sure she would have said something by now. After all, she was finally honest with me, even if it took hell and high water to get that far. Playing back the incident in my mind, I choose my words carefully.

"Hanako is doing better. That's all I will say on the matter."

Silence for a brief moment. "Did something happen between you two?"

"Lilly," I begin, "what Hanako wants; no, what she needs right now is to stand on her own two feet equally with her peers. That includes you and me. I don't know how best to describe it, but I think she's finally ready to move forward.

"Hisao..."

"When you get back, just do one thing. Let her come to you. And don't speak; simply listen. Stand by her side with honor, because that's what she deserves. Because she's a lot stronger than we, no, than anyone gives her credit for."

The laughter I hear on the other end is a shock, but then Lilly composes herself. "My my, Hisao, it would appear you've grown fairly attached to her in the time I was away."

"No, it's not like that, I..." But...maybe it is like that. Maybe the reason I pushed so hard for Hanako during that fight...was because I saw her as more than a friend. What do I really feel about her?

"...Hisao? Hisao?" Lilly begins to sound agitated.

"Oh! Sorry, just lost in thought."

"I'm going to have to cut you off. My plane will be boarding in fifteen minutes, and I need to go through security."

"I understand. Have a safe flight, Lilly."

"And have a good rest, Hisao." The line goes dead. As I go to put my phone away, I notice one last thing. It's a simple text message, which arrived during the call. Opening it, I see it's from Hanako. Two words, but they bring a smile to my face all the same.

'Thank you.'


	3. Historical Narrative

HISTORICAL NARRATIVES

Hanako and I stand outside the school gates patiently as the clouds flutter overhead. It's ten-thirty; Lilly is due to be back from the airport any minute now. A gentle breeze floats between the trees overhead as we wait. It's actually very serene. No words are said between the two of us, and for the first time, it feels more comfortable than awkward. I feel like I'm finally getting on a similar wavelength to the girl I've become close friends with in my recent stay at Yamaku Academy. So it's something of a surprise when she is the first to break the silence.

"Hisao...?"

Lazily, my eye drifts over to her. "What is it?"

"I...I want to know what your life was like. You know...before coming to Yamaku."

Now this is peculiar. I feel myself lean forward a bit as the question fully processes itself in my mind. "Well, um...where do I begin?"

She blushes a bit. "If you don't feel comfortable you...don't have to..."

"No, I'll tell you. The question just, well, threw me off guard is all." Sighing, I take a deep breath. "I was in the hospital when I first learned about Yamaku Academy. The doctors felt I would not be able to go to my old school anymore, and rather than have me homeschooled, convinced me to come here."

"It must have...been hard for you."

"It was my first time going away on my own. Granted, when I lived at home my parents did with long hours and full-time, so I didn't see them much as it was. Still...I couldn't help but be nervous. Most of all, being at a school for the disabled troubled me the most.

"At first, it was because I couldn't accept the limits of my body. I didn't want to think of myself as weak, or not normal. I wanted to just...keep going as if nothing had ever happened. But over time I realized how impossible that really was. It's a wonder that I didn't go crazy because of it."

"What was it like in the hospital?"

I quickly clear my thoughts and try to refocus them. "At the beginning, everyone sent their sympathies, and came to visit often. It was just like breaking an arm or something. Meeting all my friends was one of the good times. Iwanako came in often as well; more often than anyone else.

"But there were bad times, too. When my friends slowly stopped visiting, I began to realize how grave my situation was. It reminded me that this wasn't just a broken limb, but something much more...debilitating, I guess is the right word for it. As time went on, even the times spent with Iwanako were more harmful than helpful. And then one day, she just stopped coming altogether."

"I...see..." Hanako looks down, taking it all in, before she continues. "And middle school?"

"Pretty normal. I grew up in a really metropolitan area, so there were always big crowds of people. It was just what I was used to. I was decent in school and spent much of my time hanging out with friends. In many ways, I took that lifestyle for granted."

As I finish relating these experiences, I notice the sound of an engine racing up the road. It's Lilly, finally back from the airport. Hanako reaches into her back and pulls out her phone. It doesn't take long before my own phone begins to vibrate. Before I can answer it, she puts hers away, and Lilly steps out of the taxi.

I watch as Hanako and Lilly embrace after spending several days apart. While Hanako gets a little teary eyed, Lilly holds her composure. For a second, it looks as if her lip is quivering, but she fights back any emotions she may have. As she breaks off from Hanako, she turns to me.

"Welcome back, Lilly. It's great to see you again."

"And the same to you, Hisao." She puts a finger to her cheek, as if to gather her thoughts, before speaking once more. "I hope the two of you had an enjoyable time while I was away."

"Yes," replies Hanako timidly as she helps Lilly through the gates. "We were...caught up in some school stress but we managed to keep working hard."

"Is that so?" Lilly giggles as the two head up toward the girl's dorm. I follow behind with Lilly's bag, and that's when I notice that Hanako seems to be motioning to me. The phone. Pulling it out, I notice a text.

'We'll continue this in my room.' I stare at the girl who, moments ago, sent this text. I'm not really sure how to gauge it; in some ways she's being more confident than usual today. At the same time, I feel like there's an air of nervousness to it as well.

Hanako and Lilly continue to talk about mundane things as we enter the girl's dormitory. Finally, we reach Lilly's room where she explains that she's very tired and needs to be excused for the afternoon to rest. Hanako and I say our goodbyes and I follow Hanako into her room.

"Alright, Hanako, I'm here. Is there more you wished to ask?"

She shakes her head. "No, I...that was enough. Hisao...can you...close and lock the door?"

I turn and lock the door shut, then freeze. The atmosphere is beginning to feel quite strange. This feeling is only made more profound when I hear her draw the curtains behind me. "Just what is this all about, Hanako?"

"Don't say anything. Just listen...please, just listen..." She takes a deep, shuddering breath, and pauses for a number of seconds. Suddenly, she begins to unbutton her blouse in front of me. It falls to the floor. A minute later, so does her bra. Frozen to the spot, all I can do is watch as the skirt too falls to the ground.

She stands in front of me, in only her stockings and underwear. For the first time, I can see the extent of her scarring. "This is me. All...of me." My eyes explore every inch of her body, taking it all in. The skin on her right side is of a similar texture to that of her face, but it's also stretched taught and covering a much larger area. The scarring is by far the worst on the shoulder, buttock and thigh.

Just as my heart attack redefined my life...this is the event that redefined Hanako's. Had I seen this when I first met her, I'd have been shocked not only by the extent of the injuries, but that such an incident could be survivable at all.

"I was eight years old," she begins with a confidence I've yet to see in her before. It seems she's been waiting a long time for this. "It was night, and we were sleeping when the fire began. I didn't know what to do, what to think. So I just curled up in a ball...expecting to die then and there. That's when my mother...she shielded me in order to save my life. It's the only reason I'm here today.

"The fire department came fifteen minutes later, but it was...too late. My mother was incinerated. My father died of smoke inhalation. And I...was sent to an orphanage. Though I managed to survive, I was cursed to live with this scarring forever. It's a painful reminder of how useless I was back then. If I had only acted...my parents...they..."

As tears begin to run down her cheeks, I reach forward and hug her gently. "Hanako...you aren't useless at all. You are an incredible person, and you deserve to be able to move on from this. You can't...you can't blame yourself for what happened."

She wipes the tears from her eyes and continues on. "In the orphanage...my life was essentially put on hold. The staff was nice, but try as I might, I couldn't really make any friends there. At the same time, I was too depressed to really reach out to the other kids their either. I just spent my time reading books. Nobody questioned it, since it made me easier to handle than the other children.

As I got older, the caretakers knew I needed to get my life back together. They suggested Yamaku, since it had resources I could use to...move on. But I couldn't move on, for the longest time. And because of that, I knew people were pitying me left and right. It became a vicious cycle."

"Hanako..."

"When I met you, I really wondered if it would be the same. I thought that, unlike Lilly, you would see me as more than a charity case. And when we had that fight..."

I start to feel my own eyes stream with tears. She stops as she notices me shaking around her. Time stops as the two of us hold each other just a little bit closer, letting our collective emotions run wild in that little dark room. Finally, I begin to speak.

"Hanako, I'm sorry...sorry I didn't understand. I feel like such a fool now, and I want you to know that regardless of what anyone says, you are the strongest person I have ever met."

"I'm sorry too, Hisao. I got so caught up in my own angst that I couldn't see you were looking past my flaws and into the real me. I tried too hard to shut you off and nearly lost you forever."

"Please, let me stay by you. Don't push me away again. I don't...I don't think I could handle life without a girl like you!"

"I...I could never push you away like that. Never again." With that, she turns to face me and her lips meet mine. We get lost in the moment, and I let my hands run along her body. She begins to remove the top half of my uniform, until my own scare is bare. Her hand runs along it as she pushes me down on the bed. I hold her tight as we begin to make innocent love to one another, a pact revealing our mutual respect and admiration for one another.

Equals.


	4. Afterword

AFTERWORD

First things first, I want to thank those of you who decided to give this fanfic a read. Regardless of if you enjoyed it or not, it's nice to get some viewership, as it means that my work has become noticeable on the site.

I'm sure that you all will notice I borrowed quite heavily from the dialogue used in both "Misstep" and "Whispered Touch." I did this for two reasons. The first is that Four Leaf Studios did an incredible job writing the script for the visual novel, and I did not want to degrade that quality as that would be a disservice to the creators. The second reason is because I wanted to be as consistent as possible with the overall style and timeline progression.

That said, I did try to make a variety of changes. For example:

- Hisao is much more confident in this version of "Misstep" than in the actual VN. In many ways it's emulating his actions during Emi's storyline after Emi kicked him out of her house.

- I made Hisao more critical of Hanako. This was caused mainly due to events that have happened in my own life, where those who care about me were rather forceful in helping me get through my problems and, at the time, it was what I needed.

- "Source" borrows heavily from Hanako's neutral ending, but instead of a chess game I have them work on an article together. I also reference Lilly's storyline a lot.

- In "Historical Narratives," I skip the library scene entirely and make Hanako more assertive in learning about Hisao's background. The dialogue is completely reworked and it serves as a combination of both the good ending's sex scene, and the resulting emotional scene where the two collapse in each other's arms.

Overall, I feel really good about how this writing turned out, considering I managed to churn this out in half a day. As always, feedback is appreciated, and feel free to read my other works. Once again, thank you.


End file.
